Madonna Goes Into PR Overdrive

In a desperate attempt to get her carefully manipulated reputation back to where she wants it, Madonna’s PR has gone into overdrive.

Since her split from Guy Richie and the revelations that she is a domineering, controlling manipulator (no surprises there), Madonna’s popularity has taken a pummeling. Her recent single Miles Away was her first ever single not to crack the UK Top 20.

In light of all the bad press she has received, Madonna is striking back, having her employees release nice things about her.

This is what her Equestrian trainer has to say about her:

“She’s really good fun and very driven, listens to what you say and just wants to do it and improve,” said Daisy Trayford. “You can always get somewhere with someone like that. When I started teaching her she hadn’t jumped at all and now she can jump a course of 1.05m. Jumping and hacking are her two favourite things.

“She’s very friendly and we have been to things like Christmas drinks and her 50th birthday party and met lots of stars.”

Oh shucks, don’t it make you all warm inside.

Madonna’s fitness trainer goes further:

“Madonna’s consistent and she doesn’t ever make excuses. Nothing has changed since the divorce, Madonna hasn’t changed.”

“I never trained Guy and I wouldn’t want to.”

“Madonna will never look her age. She doesn’t even look half her age – she looks 19.”

“She’s so motivated. She organizes her time so she can train – she makes an appointment to do it and she keeps it, but two hours is the most she ever exercises in a day.”

“She relaxes but she’s smart, she knows that if she stops exercising she will have loose skin tone. Why should we criticize someone who works hard, is consistent and gets results because they’re smart with their time?”

“I tell people to be thankful that Madonna is showing that it’s possible to be ageless – people should applaud and celebrate that. Anybody who criticizes her is just jealous!”

“If you see her live she looks unbelievable, she’s a one-off, but what puts people off is that she does it all with hard work. It’s not expensive creams or treatments.”

What a load of bollocks. She looks bloody terrible. Not only does she look old, but all the exercise has her veins standing out and arms that look as sinewy as a dried out Christmas turkey.

Madonna is so controlling, that no one in her inner circle is allowed to release any comment about her without her approval; even close friend Gwyneth Paltrow took a severe tongue lashing for speaking to the media about Madonna, so you know that all these ‘feel good’ statements are not only condoned by Madonna, but instigated by her.

Someone needs to get over herself, just like everyone else has.

Katie Holmes Bullies The Hired Help

Katie Holmes is developing a major attitude towards her hired help. Katie has reportedly been bullying her household help, with sources blaming her life with Tom for having changed her from a sweet little tramp thing into a snotty nosed bitch toff.

“She treats the help like slaves,” says the insider. “At times, she just leaves everything she doesn’t wear on the floor where it drops for the maids to hang up.

“That’s so unlike the old Katie, who would never want to be any trouble or be at all aloof.” And we thought she was just a Stepford robot these days! The insider also told of an incident where Katie took a sip of Tom’s “daily smoothie” after their housekeeper prepared it for him.

“One day, the housekeep was making Tom his daily smoothie and Katie came along and sipped a couple of inches from it. Then she told the housekeeper that she’d blame her for drinking it! She was just goofing around to see the woman squirm. The poor woman was terrified because she didn’t know what she was going to say to Tom.”

Give a chick a contract and look what happens.