Peaches Geldof to Study Scientology for the Fame

Peaches Geldof is one of those, poor, underprivileged celebrity kids that, despite having very famous parents, loads of cash and a high-partying lifestyle, isn’t actually that famous. She’s tried plenty of nifty tricks in the past to elevate her level of celebrity status: the numerous drug incidences, her shot-gun marriage to a fledgling rocker, etc, etc.

Now, however, Peaches has found the perfect way to ensure she spends the rest of her young life partying it up with New York’s “It” club – she’s going to convert to Scientology.

Yes, according to a pal of Peaches, the daughter of Sir Bob Geldof is planning to begin the necessary training to become a Scientologist like her idol, Katie Holmes, who she hopes to be bosom buddies with once she’s completed the indoctrination.

Ms. Geldof’s friend explained that Peaches became “totally smitten” with Holmes after interviewing the actress earlier in the year, and has since decided that Scientology is what she needs to make it in the world of the rich and famous.

“Peaches was very impressed by Katie, she loved interviewing her and really wanted to become friends with her,” said the pal. “She thought that taking up Scientology would be the perfect springboard to work her way into that New York clique.”

The friend added: “She knows her dad won’t be happy about it, but she feels it will help her move into bigger and better celeb circles, so she is willing to keep up with her studies to become a fully fledged Scientologist.”

Apparently Peaches Geldof is that shallow. Who knew??

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Bijou Phillips Tells People With Depression To Get Over It

Bijou Phillips, who is a Scientologist has a message to give people suffering from depression, anxiety or just general sadness.

“Get over it and stop being a pansy”

“My grandparents didn’t take any pills, and they were fine,” Phillips said in the February issue of Paper. “Just buck up and get over it. Stop being such a f—king pansy.”

As a Scientologist, Phillips doesn’t believe in psychiatrists or psychiatric medication.

Fair enough, she can have her own beliefs, no matter how wacked they are, but why does she think this gives her the right to tell others what they should or shouldn’t do?

Scientology Guards Shoot Man Dead

Guards at the Scientology building in Hollywood have shot and killed a man wielding two Samurai swords.

The man, who was said to be involved with the church, showed up at noon and approached three guards and began waving two Samurai swords around. Being the caring souls that they are, the Scientology guards took no chances and shot him dead with automatic handguns.

At this stage, police at saying that it was in self defense.

There is no proof that the man wielding the swords looked anything like the person in the image above, but that is the nearest image we could get to a Samurai sword wielding lunatic.

Anonymous July 12 Scientology Demonstration

Anonymous, the anti-Scientology group made up of former Scientologists and others against the ‘religion’, are planning another round of global protests on July 12, under the title of “Spy vs. Sci”.

This time they are focussing their attention on the Office of Special Affairs (OSA).

“Why does something that describes itself as a religion need an intelligence agency that aggressively persecutes critics?”

The OSA controls the administering of justice and punishment to members of the church, whose most famous members are Tom Cruise and John Travolta.

“Most Scientologists are unaware of the functions of the OSA and accept what their leaders tell them about it,” says the release. “However, there is a growing body of evidence that OSA agents operate to attack perceived enemies by using infiltration, bribery, burglary and blackmail, in addition to threats, intimidation, assaults and worse.”

Protesters at the Spy vs. Sci demonstration will don costumes of characters like Austin Powers, James Bond and Modesty Blaise.

Aussie Billionaire James Packer Quits Scientology

One-time Australia’s richest man, James Packer is said to be over Scientology and ready to quit.

Packer, Scientology’s wealthiest member, was introduced to the cult by good bud, Tom back in 2002.

Packer’s friends have revealed that he’s quietly distanced himself from Scientology, was no longer undertaking Scientology courses and has told them he no longer “needs it”.

Packer got sucked into the cult when was overweight and depressed, his marriage to his first wife, Jodhi Meares, had ended and he was left looking like a goose after losing $350 million of daddies money in a bad business investment.

The one time Packer spoke about his involvement with the cult, he said:

“I think it has been very good for me,” he said. “It has been helpful. I have some friends in Scientology that have been very supportive. But I think it’s just helped me have a better outlook on life.”

Packer’s expanding casino empire looks like the reason for his departure, with Scientology frowning on gambling.

Scientology will be losing a lot of money on this one, as each member has to donate a lot of their income to the group.

Tom Cruise Trying To Go Viral?

Could Tom Cruise be about to embark on a big online push to try and clean up his image and counter all of the bad publicity he has been receiving?

Michael Arrington at TechCrunch is reporting that interesting things happening online concerning Tom Cruise, which indicate something is happening. For example,

“Google ads are now popping up for searches on “Tom Cruise” that say “Official Tom Cruise Site. Stay Tuned for the Official Launch of TomCruise.com. Check it out!” or alternatively “Official Tom Cruise Site. The Countdown is On. TomCruise.com launches May 5th. Get the scoop!”

This seems to be directly capitalizing on his recent appearance on Oprah, Tom’s people have been buying up Google adwords to try and direct people to officially sanctioned Tom Crusie sites, rather then the ones highlighting his nutty behavior.

Thanks to Mike and his fascination with Tom Cruise and all things celebrity (sorry Mike, your secret is out…. only joking) we have these extra pieces of info.

“The domain name was registered by an attorney, Benita Das, at the Los Angeles law firm Greenberg Glusker Fields Claman & Machtinger. Das is not listed as an attorney on the firm’s directory, but I did find a reference to her back in 2002. Is this one of the law firms that Tom Cruise uses? I have no idea. They do practice entertainment law, though.”

“The domain was first purchased on November 6, 1996, but very little was done with it until now. The last update to the whois information was April 28, 2008. My guess is that the law firm bought the domain name on Cruise’s behalf. That would explain why the attorney is the registered owner, at least for now.”

Sounds like Tom’s people may also be trying to create a bit of viral growth with this one. Knowing how these things can go, I could see this backfiring.

Can everyone say ANON?

Cruise And Travolta Put Their Homo Days Behind Them

The anti-Scientology video made by Mark Bunker and featuring actor ex-Scientologist Jason Beghe has been removed from YouTube. YouTube will not answer the question of whether they were pressured by Scientology into removing the video.

There are more juicy bits from Beghe in a video to be released next week, including this claim:

“A Scientologist who’s ‘clear’ believes he’s no longer a Homosapien. He’s Homo-novis, a new race. They believe they are the only hope for this section of the galaxy, starting with planet Earth.”

He also claims that both Tom Cruise and John Travolta believe this.

And here I was thinking all this time that they were just your everyday kind of homos. Gee don’t I feel like a fool.