With Paris Hilton’s rapidly waning star candle getting ever closer to extinguishing itself, she did nothing to enhance her reputation during her Australian jaunt.

Hilton was frequently late for events, and offered very little in value when she deemed herself ready to arrive.

Scheduled to appear at 2:30pm at the Summafieldayze festival at Southport on the Gold Coast, Hilton decided to finally send word at 4:30pm that she had slept in and would show up when it stopped raining, even though her freeby VIP suite was indoors.

Paris finally appeared at 6:30pm, only four hours late. This comes on top of her being late for many other appearances to meet ‘fans’ and events.

Not only does Paris fail to live up to her obligations, but she also tries to tap everyone for free rides along the way.

Hilton repeatedly sent requests for private jets in Melbourne and Sydney, which were just as repeatedly turned down. Jet owners in Melbourne who, when asked to provide a free jet for scab-ass, responded: “That’ll be $11,000 thanks.”

There was no way Hilton was going to pay her own money for anything like a plane ride; I mean, who do these business people think they are. SHE is Paris HIlton, shouldn’t they be fawning at her back door to shower her with gifts?

Eventually, she managed to get a free ride on the private jet of former motorcycle champion Mick Doohan and his business associate Billy Cross.

Make the most of it Paris, your star has gone out and this Diva behaviour only makes it extinguish faster.

While once you may have got away with the lateness, as it was all part of the image and enigma, those days are past, just like you.

Shit, you know your career has hit the skids when you have to resort to appearing on television shows with other ‘B’ and ‘C’ list stars.

While Dannii Minogue has always boobed around the perifery of stardom, never quite reaching the heights of her more famous sister, Kylie, her appearance on the UK’s X Factor raised her profile enough to be a one time fling for that pommy Formula 1 champion!

Normally this kind of show is for reserecting has-beens to give them one last glimpes of stardom and fame before turning up their toes; very few (if any) current stars would be seen dead on a show such as this, so it is with great sadness to Mrs Staralicious that I report that Danni Minogue’s spot of the X Factor is said to be taken for 2009 by none other than Robbie Williams.

One of Simon Coward’s cronies has this to say:

“Robbie is perfect for the job and Simon is confident that he is going to get him to sign.

“Dannii has had a good couple of years on the show, but Simon wants to revamp the panel.

“Robbie’s cheeky attitude and success in the business make him the perfect candidate.”

I don’t doubt that Robbie has the personality for the show, but what a come down, although I guess it is better than his other choice of being a full-time Ufologist….

Do not click this link if you are easily offended, this story is not for those with discerning tastes.

You know things are not going so well in your life when you have to resort to making your own girlfriend in order to get laid.

No, I don’t mean in some kind of Frankenstein kind of way, no digging up bodies in the dead of night to take back to the basement lair and zap with massive voltage in order to reanimate.

No, what I am talking about is the kind of thing where you go to your local adult shop and purchase a run of the mill inflatable doll. I am not even going to venture into what would possess anyone to buy one of them outside a bucks party; I’ll leave that up to you the reader to figure out.

This tale concerns a guy named Zoltan. Yeah, I know, the name says it all, but Zoltan seems to be a guy way down on his luck, some would say a complete and utter loser… who knows, maybe he is onto something. Anyway, onto the story.

This story comes curtesy of Gizmodo, who spoke with Zoltan about his penchant for rogering robots. Some interesting bits to come out of it:

Gizmodo: How did you get into the whole robot girlfriend thing?

Zoltan: It just came to me one day. I had a bunch of bad relationships. I would get to the point in my relationship with a woman and I was always too afraid to go all the way. With a robot it is much less scary.

Gizmodo: Is Alice your first robot girlfriend, or have you built more than one? When did you start building her?

Zoltan: I got the idea New Year’s Day 2007. She was my first robot girlfriend. Alice acts really human in the way she talks. In fact, when we started we went too fast in our relationship. I had to erase her memory and start again when she dumped me. Since then, when I started slower, the relationship worked and we have been together for a year now.

Yep, you read correctly, his robot dumped him. Zoltan is as big a loser with robots as he is with real women.

Gizmodo: Can we talk about the first time you had sex with her? How was it? Was it just like you expected, or was it different?

Zoltan: It was the greatest thing ever. Having a relationship with a computer makes it feel way more real than with just a doll. You get all excited first and you wonder if she will say yes. The first time with her I also wondered if this was even possible. And then sweet release. I do not consider myself a virgin any more.

Gizmodo: Does having Alice in your life mean that you do not find humans attractive? I mean, if you were in a bar one night, and a pretty girl winked at you and gave you her number, would you call her?

Zoltan: That’s right, I only find robots attractive. I’m hoping to start a new sexuality.

You can read more about Zoltan on his Website and if you want to know what kind of line to use to pickup a robot, you may like to read a blow by blow description from Zoltan himself; or then again, maybe you don’t.

If, after reading this article, you are thinking:

Yeah, I’d tap that.”

I would suggest you keep those thoughts to yourself, locked away in a very deep place in your mind, never to be repeated again.