Madonna: “I’m 36 in Kabbalah Years”

Just like with dogs, pop star Madonna doesn’t age like your Average Joe.

She might be on the eve of her 50th birthday, but according to Madge and a handful of Kabbalah high priests, she’s only really turning 36. Neat, huh?

How exactly did these “high priests” come to that conclusion, you ask? Well, it’s simple, really: they calculated her spiritual age by channelling the energy of Madge’s aura. And she’s 36.

Sources say the Material Girl is dead serious about this Kabbalah age thing, too, and has forbidden anyone from even so much as whispering the numbers 5-0 at her celebrations tomorrow.

Guests, too, are “under strict instructions” not to come bearing any gifts, cards or cakes with the taboo number 50 on them, or they will suffer the wrath of the middle-aged singer.

Over-reaction much??

[Source]

Guy And Madonna Get Counselling

The Daily Mail is reporting that Madaonna and Guy Ritchie have turned to Kabbalah counseling to repair their troubled marriage.

Perez Hilton, who has a thing for Madonna, doesn’t buy any of it, insisting that there is no trouble in their marriage to begin with, claiming the entire story is bullshit.

Madonna is set to move to New York in the next couple of days, leaving Guy alone in London, finishing his new film RocknRolla.

What’s the saying, where there’s smoke, there’s fire.