If you were listening to a couple of blokes discussing the other woman in a marriage breakup, you would hear things said such as:

“I wouldn’t crawl over her to get to you.”

or

“She can park her slippers under my bead.”

Roughly translated, this means, she is pretty hot and I can see why you shagged her.

None of this applies to this chick.

Fair dinkum, what the hell was Mutt Lange thinking?

Maybe because of his nick he just likes dogs!

He left Shania Twain for this chick?

She looks like she was beaten over the head with an ugly stick and even then the stick would have still looked a hell of a lot better.

I have always thought Shania was pretty hot, so she can park her slippers under my bed any time she wants. Actually, on second thoughts, better give me some warning so I can organise something with Barbie for the night.

Donatella Versace attended the Gianni Versace new collection this week looking……, well I am not sure.

I mean, what is the go, surely she can’t naturally look like a male drag queen. She really was born a man right? It must have been covered up all these years.

Now if she wasn’t born a man, then I am sorry, is there a society somewhere to make a donation?