Depp & Hilton Banned in China

As of July 1, Johnny Depp, Paris Hilton, roast pork and Garfield will be banned from China – their images only, not the actual objects – because according to the Chinese government, they may be damaging to your moral health.

The Chinese government has just passed a new law that states all personal computers sold in the country from July 1 onwards must have special internet filter software installed that is specially designed to block pornographic and violent images from being downloaded.

Among these blocked images is an obnoxious cartoon cat, a jail-bait socialite, a dead pig and Captain Jack Sparrow.

While I fully support the banning of Paris Hilton’s face (and in some aspects, Garfield, too), no one should be forced to live without the option to stare at Johnny Depp. It’s almost criminal, really.

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Britney’s Parents Enforce Sex Ban

In an attempt to curb her promiscuous ways, Britney Spears’ parents have reportedly enforced a six-month sex ban on their daughter while she struggles to regain her place at the top of the pop charts.

Parents Jamie and Lynne Spears believe that Britney’s big downfall earlier in the year was mostly due to her poisonous relationships at the time, and have told the singer that she must “refrain from any male contact” for a while.

“Jamie and Lynne feel she’s so close to cracking the big time again that they don’t want anything to get in her way,” a friend explained.

“They’re desperate to ensure that it won’t happen again. Their worst nightmare is that she gets involved with someone else who’s just trying to use her for her money or to further their own career.”

Britney’s father still has control over her financial assets until December this year, when another hearing will determine whether or not she’s stable enough to handle things on her own again.

What I want to know is how they’re going to enforce this sex ban. In order to make it work, they’d need to literally be with her – and in the same room – 24/7. Sounds like a near-impossible task, if you ask me.

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