Has Been Paris And Always Black Benji

You know it just has to be eating her up inside. She has tried all kinds of tricks to get back into the public eye, from embracing religion, to talking about marriage and babies; so far none of it is working.

You had your time Paris. It lasted longer then you it had any right to, but you are yesterdays news. Sure you still get publicity, but nothing like the amount you once attracted. Sit back and enjoy your life as a publicity hungry has-been.

You have a couple of tricks left up your sleeve yet, in the break glass in case of emergency vein, i.e. marriage and pregnancy, but they really can only be pulled it as a last resort and will be the act of a desperate woman.

Oh, I forgot, you can always go down the adoption route, but that has pretty much been done to a dinner and given your past with caring for pets, I don’t fancy your chances.

If you really have to, here are some more pics of Paris Hilton and Benji Madden at the Beverly Glen Center in Beverly Hills. Read more

Paris & Benji’s White Wedding Plans

It’s all about weddings today!!

After the nuptials of Beyonce Knowles, and the upcoming wedding of Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz comes the news that new couple Paris Hilton and Benji Madden want to tie the knot.

Parisite herself let the news slip to People on Thursday night at London’s Nobu, admitting that a wedding is in their near future.

“[Benji] wants to [get hitched],” Hilton said. “We talk about [getting married].”

Read more

Paris And Benji Back In Black

Keeping with the black theme of the previous post, here are some shots of Paris and Benji at Club Villa in Beverly Hills. As much as I think Paris should change her name to sheetsy, that black bustier does look alright…

Seeing these images from the pair of them clubbing does seem kind of strange when you consider what is being reported about Paris’ latest statement.
She now claims to have changed her life and puts it all down to Benji.

“When I was younger I loved to go out, but now that I’m in a really great relationship it’s so much more fun to stay at home.

We don’t really like to go out. We have game night where friends come over and play Monopoly.

I love to cook for Benji, I cook great lasagne. I’ve grown up a lot and I’m at peace.

He has changed my life in every way.”

Does anyone else sense a new Black Paris and Benji version of monopoly coming out soon?

More pictures after the link. Read more

Paris Hilton Kills Puppies Through Neglect

Somehow I missed this story previously, but it is worth reporting.

Paris has got a new puppy, bringing the total number of dogs she has acquired to 18.

So how does she care for so many dogs when she is overseas and away from home so often?

It seems she doesn’t. Her care for them seems as vacuous as her personality, i.e. non-existent.

The poor dogs are left alone for months in her house while she travels, with a housekeeper leaving food and water.

The problem is that when Paris gets excited whenever she gets a new puppy, but the novelty quickly wears off for her. She can’t be bothered training it, so when it plays up, she just leaves it in a closet and heads off somewhere, with the poor animal forgotten.

Days later, her staff will find the poor dog still in the closet, but very dead.

Animal cruelty is one of the three warning signs of an incipient serial killer, the other two are bed wetting and fire starting.

Seriously though, if this is true, how does she get away with this kind of behavior?

Imagine what it will be like if she ever has kids.

Besotted Benji Wants To Marry Paris

See what happens when I go out for a feed and a couple of beers.

I get home to find out that Benji Madden is telling all about his undying love for the oxygen sapping machine Paris Hilton.

Telling Yo on E! on Sirius Radio, Benji said:

“We were in love before anyone even knew we were together.”

“We have known each other for a long time, and I’ve always known the real Paris. I always knew that she was like…wife material or serious girlfriend material. You’re getting a lot of personal sh**t out of me, man!”

“You just want to get on top of a mountain and go, I’m in love! But your fans would probably make fun of you.”

The deluded fool even says that nothing would make him happier then to marry the attention craving leech Paris.

As Paris is well and truly on the way out, I would expect her to be moving Heaven and Earth the try and get married. I would go so far as to predict that she would actually be trying for a baby, except I am not sure if even she is stupid enough to think that she could endure a pregnancy; sure I can see here going:

“A baby, that’d be cool,”

but actually going through with it might be too much even for her to endure to grab attention.

Don’t rule it out though, she will get three bites of the cherry.

1. Marriage
2. Baby
3. Divorce

Paris Wants to Marry Benji For The Big Bucks

Paris Hilton may not have a child yet with her Good Charlotte rocker beau, Benji Madden, but that doesn’t mean she wants to miss out on a wedding when good pal Nicole Richie and Joel Madden walk down the isle.

According to a source, the Hiltonite is desperate to have a lavish double wedding with the Madden brothers and Richie, but not because it would be super duper cute and cheesy, or because she loves the trio so much. No, Paris has a different reason for suggesting the double extravaganza… and it involves money… lots and lots of money!

Read more

Hayden Pantyhair Says Parasite Hilton Is A Genius

Hayden Patnyhair thinks Parasite HIlton is not an airhead party girl, but is actually a genuine genius. Boy has she been hanging with the wrong people.

Pantyhair, who is cllose friends with Hilton insists that Paris is level headed and far from the dumb character she portays.

“She’s a nice girl and a lot brighter than people give her credit (for) but no one sees her like that because she plays this character all the time. She’s actually a marketing genius.”

Yeah and all this marketing genius had to do was make a lame ass home made porn video, create a fuss when it leaked to the Web, then milk it for all it was worth until the next bit of flesh was needed to be displayed for the cameras.

I think if Hayden knew a bit more about the background to the family, she may reconsider who the marketing genius is, sure Paris’ entire image is very cleverly orchestrated, but there is no way that she is the brains behind it.

But then, Hayden is only 19 and obviously, easily impressed. Look for a different role model Hayden, or before too long there will be Pantyhair all over the Web.

Privyet Bitches

Sucking up more global resources (and oxygen), Paris Hilton made an appearance at the MTV Russian Movie Awards.

Paris Paid $138,000 For Breathing

$138,000, that’s what Parasite Hilton got paid for turning up at trendy Mayfair nightclub Mahiki on Monday night.

The Parasite was her usual reliable self, arriving two hours late, then leaving after 50 minutes ‘work’.

Worried club managers were phoning the Parasite to see where she was, and were told that she was having her hair and nails done, and she also had a catnap because she was tired after all her traveling. The club had paid the Parasite for three hours ‘work’, so they got totally gipped. Mind you, I think anyone who pays her for breathing in their vicinity needs therapy.

Her Parasiticness managed to milk nearly $200,000 for the week, with her appearance at Mahiki and another one at Crystal.

During her brief stay at Mahiki. she asked for champagne and shots, before moving onto $200 Treasure Chest cocktails.

The Parasite also spent 8 minutes of her 50 minutes at the club in the toilet, at a cost to the club of $22,000. Must have had a bad dose of the runs… Yeah, that’s it, I am sure….

Paris Says Kim’s Ass Is Gross

Ever the delightful princess, Paris Hilton just cannot help herself when it comes to bagging out anyone and everyone, no matter if they are friend or foe.

The target for Paris’ venom this time was one time bestest friend, Kim Kardashian. Speaking on a Las Vegas radio show, Paris was asked what she would prefer, Jessica Simpson’s rack of Kim Kardashian’s ass.

Answering as tactfully as she can, Paris said:

“I would not want that, that’s gross… that’s disgusting.” Then describing Kim’s ass she said.

“It’s disgusting. It reminds me of cottage cheese inside a big trash bag.”

Her irrelevance has retracted her remark, saying:

“I was just joking around and I made a stupid joke. I felt really bad afterward, so I contacted Kim and apologized. It was a silly thing to say. Kim’s hot!” Kim apparently accepted the apology.

Regulars here know that we have made one or two comments on the size of Kim’s ass, but we have never been as nasty as Paris has and we are not even Kim’s friends.

Thinking about this now, I have just had a brilliant idea, I’ll post about it soon.

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