Madonna to Adopt Again

Madonna has admitted that she’s considering adopting for a second time.

The aging pop star told Nation newspaper that thought of giving son David Banda a brother or sister from his own country has crossed her mind. “It’s something I have been considering,” she said. “But [I] would only do [it] if I had the support of the Malawian people and the government.”

Madonna added: “Many people – especially our Malawian friends – say that David should have a Malawian brother or sister.”

Liz Rosenberg, the 4 Minute singer’s rep, confirmed the report, telling People, “Madonna has stated many times that she’d love to adopt again.”

Does this mean Madonna’s turning into an Angelina Jolie clone? Let’s hope not!

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Madonna Desperate to Join Twilight Series

In a desperate attempt to win the hearts of Gen Y, aging pop tart Madonna has reportedly been pushing for a part in New Moon, the sequel to last year’s box office smash, Twilight.

Madge has been hounding New Moon’s executive producer Guy Oseary – who also happens to be her long-time business partner – and doesn’t care who or what she plays, so long as she’s in the movie.

Given Madge’s outstanding acting background – ahem, Swept Away, anyone? – I somehow don’t think she’d be particularly suited to a role in possibly the biggest vampire film of all time. Although, if she does manage to squeeze her way into the sequel, I’m sure she’d tie with Kristen Stewart for the ‘Worst Character Portrayal’ Razzie.

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Madonna Goes Into PR Overdrive

In a desperate attempt to get her carefully manipulated reputation back to where she wants it, Madonna’s PR has gone into overdrive.

Since her split from Guy Richie and the revelations that she is a domineering, controlling manipulator (no surprises there), Madonna’s popularity has taken a pummeling. Her recent single Miles Away was her first ever single not to crack the UK Top 20.

In light of all the bad press she has received, Madonna is striking back, having her employees release nice things about her.

This is what her Equestrian trainer has to say about her:

“She’s really good fun and very driven, listens to what you say and just wants to do it and improve,” said Daisy Trayford. “You can always get somewhere with someone like that. When I started teaching her she hadn’t jumped at all and now she can jump a course of 1.05m. Jumping and hacking are her two favourite things.

“She’s very friendly and we have been to things like Christmas drinks and her 50th birthday party and met lots of stars.”

Oh shucks, don’t it make you all warm inside.

Madonna’s fitness trainer goes further:

“Madonna’s consistent and she doesn’t ever make excuses. Nothing has changed since the divorce, Madonna hasn’t changed.”

“I never trained Guy and I wouldn’t want to.”

“Madonna will never look her age. She doesn’t even look half her age – she looks 19.”

“She’s so motivated. She organizes her time so she can train – she makes an appointment to do it and she keeps it, but two hours is the most she ever exercises in a day.”

“She relaxes but she’s smart, she knows that if she stops exercising she will have loose skin tone. Why should we criticize someone who works hard, is consistent and gets results because they’re smart with their time?”

“I tell people to be thankful that Madonna is showing that it’s possible to be ageless – people should applaud and celebrate that. Anybody who criticizes her is just jealous!”

“If you see her live she looks unbelievable, she’s a one-off, but what puts people off is that she does it all with hard work. It’s not expensive creams or treatments.”

What a load of bollocks. She looks bloody terrible. Not only does she look old, but all the exercise has her veins standing out and arms that look as sinewy as a dried out Christmas turkey.

Madonna is so controlling, that no one in her inner circle is allowed to release any comment about her without her approval; even close friend Gwyneth Paltrow took a severe tongue lashing for speaking to the media about Madonna, so you know that all these ‘feel good’ statements are not only condoned by Madonna, but instigated by her.

Someone needs to get over herself, just like everyone else has.

Madonna Falls on Her Ass

Not only has she had to fork out over $76 million in divorce settlements to ex-husband Guy Ritchie, but ‘old Vadge was forced to battle the elements during her concert in Brazil, and had a bit of a spill onstage.

Thankfully, the moment she fell flat on her ass was caught on camera, so we all get to share in her embarrassment.

Whoever filmed that, cheers!

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Rodriguez on Madonna: “We’re Just Friends”

Yankees star baller Alex Rodriguez has spoken out for the first time on the nature of his relationship with the newly divorced Madonna.

“We’re friends,” Rodriguez told People.

When asked if there was any romantic interest at all between the pair, A-Rod repeated that age-old excuse: “We’re friends – that’s it.”

Rumours of a romance have been plaguing the Music singer and the 33-year-old Yankees star ever since it was publicly announced that Rodriguez and his wife were having “issues” with their marriage. Not long after he and Madonna were seen out together, Madonna and ex-husband Guy Ritchie’s divorce was officially announced to the press, prompting many tabloids to speculate on the nature of Madge’s and A-Rod’s relationship.

Just to reiterate his “just friends” stance, Rodriguez added: “[The rumours are] absolutely ridiculous and not true.”

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Madonna And Guy At War

Madonna is going to war with Guy Ritchie over their children.

She wants the kids to move to the US permanently with her while Guy wants them to remain in the UK.

That is not the only issue the pair are fighting over, with Guy, who is completely over Kabbalah, adamant that biological son Rocco be exposed to other religions, while Madonna insists he be schooled only in Kabbalah.

With neither side budging, it looks like the only solution will be through the courts.

To date, there have been more leaks from Madonna’s side in attempts to sully Guy’s reputation. This could turn quite nasty if she doesn’t get her way.

Madonna Reaches Divorce Settlement

The epic battle between exes Madonna and Guy Ritchie is over before it even really began!

According to the BBC, Madge and Ritchie have reached a settlement, and “will be granted a preliminary divorce decree” at the High Court in London on Friday, which means that in six weeks and a day, their divorce will be made final and official.

The split between one of Hollywood’s super couples has been fairly benign, all things considered. Not too many nasty comments in the media, and, according to reports, a nice, amicable settlement where both parties involved get to keep their respective dosh.

Despite the fact that Ritchie was entitled – by law – to a portion of Madonna’s fortune, he will walk away from the marriage with only a meager amount of Madge’s estimated $500 million wealth.

“[Madonna] walked away without any of his money, much to her credit,” a friend said. “[Ritchie] has done the same.”

Likewise, the pair will share custody of their two children – Rocco, 8, and the adopted David, 3 – while Madonna’s daughter Lourdes (who’s not Ritchie’s biological child) will remain in America with her mother.

Another friend revealed: “[Ritchie] could have hugely boosted his bank balance and set himself up for life, but he already feels he has enough money.

“He also didn’t want the whole thing dragging on in the public gaze for months and months and, in any case, his priority was the children’s future.”

However, a source close to the couple insists this picture-perfect view of the settlement couldn’t be further from the truth, with Ritchie set to “clean up” once everything becomes final.

“[Guy's] going to get a huge windfall, contrary to what’s being reported,” the source said. “He’s getting a lot of money from the settlement. He’s not the gentleman he’s portraying himself as.”

And Madonna’s been flouncing around with A-Rod since before the divorce was announced in October, so I guess that means neither one of them is a gentleman…

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While Madge Is Away A-Rod Plays

Madonna doesn’t trust her new male play buddy too much, getting her friends to keep him on a tight leash while she is away.

The only problem is, it doesn’t seem to be working too well, with Alex doing some serious flirting with Kate Hudson at Fontainebleau Hotel in Miami on Friday night.

As the night wore on, Vadge’s security of gal pals managed to keep the Miami locals from getting too close to Rodriguez, but they could do little about Kate Hudson, who had her arms wrapped around his waist and continually pulled him back toward her whenever he leaned over to talk with someone else.

So is Vadge losing out to younger chicks?

I think the writing is on the wrinkly wall so to speak.

Madonna Was A Japanese Warrioress In Previous Life

On a Japanese TV show, Madonna revealed how she thinks she was a Japanese warrioress in a previous life.

She said: “I must have been Japanese in a previous life. I’m pretty sure I was a warrioress.”

“I can’t explain it, I just know. I’m good at fighting – fighting with a big sword.”

Well that must explain why she now thinks she can be a director like her ex husband.

Personally, I don’t believe in reincarnation, but if I did, I am pretty sure that whoever was in charge of it wouldn’t let you live more than once!

Madonna: More “Gristle” Than Lady

There’s certainly no love lost between Guy Ritchie and Madonna!

The soon-to-be-exes are going at it hard in the media just days after making the official announcement that they’d split, with a close friend of Ritchie’s revealing that he found the singer’s muscular physique so revolting, he hadn’t made love to her in 18 months!

According to the pal, Ritchie had once likened the 4 Minutes singer to a “piece of gristle,” and blamed Madonna’s obsession with exercise for destroying their marriage.

“[Making love to Madonna was like] cuddling up to a piece of gristle,” Ritchie is alleged to have told his friends.

Another friend added: “All of the soft feminine tones have been replaced by the build of an athlete.”

Ritchie confronted Madonna about the exercise issue on a number of occassions, but sources say the singer “wouldn’t budge,” and insisted on her “four-hour [daily] workout, even though her routine was putting a strain on her marriage.

If I was Guy, I’d be feeling relieved right about now. He’s finally free of all the sanity! And now “gristly Madge” is someone else’s problem – namely A-Rod’s.

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